Drunk Dialing
by Darling Pretty
Summary: Events in Addison's life involving alcohol and a phone. "The anger disappears when he sees the words "1 New Message From Addison Montgomery". And it turns into mostly confusion when he reads the words, "come do mee"." Addex. Oneshot. Strong language.


**Okay, I'm not really sure why I felt like this had to be written, but it just wrote itself. So enjoy.**

**Basically, the italics are a flashback to Yale. And I just invented Addison a friend. And it really has nothing to do with the story other than to contrast Yale Addison with Dr. Addison.**

**Oh, and this is not my… cleanest story when it comes to language. So be warned.**

**I own nothing. Not even this flashback. It has happened.**

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"_Y'know, Addie. You're really, really pretty!"_

"_Okay, come on, let's get you into bed," Addison says, supporting her stumbling friend._

"_No, I'm… cool. I'm cool. Cool. Cool. Cooooooooooooooool. So cool."_

"_You're drunk, Norah. Here, lie down." Addison pulls back the covers of her bed and sits her friend down._

"_You're a good friend," Norah says, rubbing her nose._

"_Thanks. Are you okay?"_

_Norah collapses back onto the pillows of Addison's bed and announces, "I'm horny."_

_Addison hides a smile. "I know. You're drunk. It's inevitable."_

"_Inevitable is a big word. How come you're not drunk?"_

"_Because I only had two drinks. You did five shots. In ten minutes. And you're tiny."_

_Norah studies her friend seriously. "I wanna fuck somebody," she decides._

_Addison rolls her eyes. "You're drunk. You always want to screw somebody when you're drunk."_

"_No, but tonight I really mean it. Sean would do me."_

"_Sean would do anybody, Nor."_

"_Doug would too. But Doug's kind of being a dick right now. And not in the good way. HA!" Norah bursts out laughing at her own wittiness. "Doug fucked me and then Noel and now he wants back in my pants. Except I'm not wearing pants. Am I?"_

"_No, Norah, you're not wearing pants."_

"_I could call Ryan."_

"_Ryan went home for the weekend."_

_Norah looks genuinely crestfallen. "Nobody wants to fuck me!"_

"_There are plenty of people who want to screw you, Nor."_

"_Name one."_

"_David."_

"_But I don't _want _to fuck David!"_

"_You just asked for somebody who would do you," Addison defends herself before she realizes that arguing semantics with Norah right now is about as effective as riding a bike underwater._

"_Besides, I'm pretty sure he's diseased. And I just want sex tonight." She pushes the covers back and starts to clumsily get up. "Would it be super slutty of me to call somebody and be like "Hey, I'm horny, do me"?"_

"_Yeah, a little bit."_

_Norah stumbles over to the phone and picks it up. She stares at the phone for a moment, then looks to Addison with pleading eyes. "Make it work." She giggles. "I can't work it. Who am I going to fuck, Addie? I don't want to have to go find somebody random."_

_Addison rolls her eyes. "What if I call Garret for you?"_

"_You would do that?" Norah exclaims happily._

_Once again, Addison rolls her eyes. "I want to know where you're going to be if you're going to have sex tonight. Give me the phone."_

_Norah happily hands it over and Addison dials the number. "Yeah, Garret, Norah's drunk and horny."_

_Norah grabs the phone. "Come do me!" she cackles into the phone. Addison rolls her eyes and grabs the phone back. "So will you pick her up? She shouldn't be walking right now. The RA might catch her. Okay, I'll see you in ten minutes."_

_Norah starts to stumble for her shoes. "Norah," Addison says. "Norah!"_

"_Whaaaaaaaaat?" Norah whines._

"_Do you have condoms?"_

_She squints her eyes as she concentrates. "Yes… Um, wait, no. I think Sean used the last of them last night. This morning. Whatever."_

"_You screwed Sean last night?"_

"_Yeeeeeeeah. That happened, by the way." Norah gives up on the shoes and lies back down on Addison's bed._

_Addison rifles through her desk drawers and tosses a couple condoms at her friend's head. "Take them. Don't get pregnant."_

"_Wait, who am I fucking again?"_

"_Garret, Norah."_

"_Riiiiiiiight. Do I like him?"_

"_You liked him enough the last time you screwed him," Addison replies._

"_How am I going to get there?"_

"_He's coming to pick you up. And you're going to stay with him, right?"_

"_Right," Norah agrees with a definitive nod._

"_And I'll come get you in the morning, okay? You stay there until I come get you."_

"_Right. What about my stuff?"_

"_I'll bring it with me. You leave it here and don't worry about it, okay?"_

_Norah's eyes start to drift closed. "You're a good friend, Addie," she slurs._

"_Thanks."_

"_Am I slutty?"_

_Addison smiles at her friend fondly. "A little."_

"_I'm kind of a whore. But y__ou still love me though, right?"_

"_Always, Nor."_

"_Do _you _want to do me?"_

_Addison laughs. "No, Nor, I don't."_

"_I'm cold. Come snuggle!"_

"_Get under the blanket. You just tried to hit on me, I'm not cuddling with you!"_

"_Snuggle, Addie!" she exclaims, tugging at her best friend's hand._

"_Blankets, Nor."_

_Norah clambers under the blanket and promptly closes her eyes. "Tiiiiired," she purrs._

"_Do you want me to tell Garret to go away when he gets here?"_

"_I… dunno. Shhhhhhhhhh…"_

_Addison pulls out a bottle of water and a bottle of ibuprofen and places them on the nightstand. "I'll have him go away when he gets here, okay?"_

"_Shhh, Addie. Snuggle."_

_A fond smile crosses Addison's face and she tucks the blanket in around her friend. "Night, Norah."_

0ooo0

"Y'know, Callie, you're like really, really pretty," Addison observes.

"Thank you. Here, get in bed."

"I'm not tired. Like, at all."

"No, but you're drunk."

"I am not drunk!" Addison exclaims and nearly breaks an ankle when her foot twists in her heel. "Okay, so maybe I'm a little drunk."

"You're ridiculously hammered right now. I saw you at that bar!"

"Want to know a secret?" Addison asks. "I want to tell you a secret."

Callie smiles. "Okay, but get in bed first."

Addison does as she's told. "I was drinking… because… I am very, very horny right now."

Callie starts laughing. "And that drove you to drink?"

"I wanna sleep with Karev," Addison admits. "It would be like sleeping with my chauffer or something, but my very, very, very hot chauffer."

"Get some sleep, Addison."

"I'm gonna text him that right now," Addison decides, pulling out her phone.

Callie grabs the cell away from her friend. Considering Addison doesn't jerk away until the phone is actually snatched from her hands, it's not that difficult. "Give me my phone back!" she whines. "It's mine!"

"I'm not letting you text Karev anything."

"But I _want _him!" Addison pouts, putting on the face that would get her anything when she was five.

"But you're drunk. And his boss. And drunk. And horny. So no. Because you're drunk."

"You're lame!" Addison complains.

"I'm awesome," Callie retorts.

"You won't let me sleep with Karev! That makes you lame."

"No, I won't let you drunk text him. Big difference."

"I don't feel good," Addison complains suddenly. Callie gets her up and out of bed as quickly as possible and rushes her to the bathroom. When Addison's finished throwing up, she goes to get her water. And leaves Addison's phone on the counter. Which is not a good idea. Because Addison picks it up and manages to do exactly was hoping to prevent. She drunk texts Alex Karev.

0ooo0

It's almost two in the morning when Alex Karev's phone buzzes. He's seriously pissed because he was in the middle of a dream. And that dream involved Catwoman's bodysuit. And Addison.

That anger disappears when he sees the words "1 New Message From Addison Montgomery". And it turns into mostly confusion when he reads the words, "come do mee".

0ooo0

Addison has no idea _why _Alex Karev is giving her such strange looks. All she knows is that she's _still _not fully recovered from her hangover and her head still hurts and Karev giving her looks is not helping.

"_What_?" she finally snaps.

"Nothing," he says quickly. Too quickly.

"No. What is going on? Why are you staring at me?"

"Do you text?" he asks suddenly.

"Um, yes? Where is this going, Karev?"

"You texted me the other night," he says jerkily.

She raises an eyebrow.

He shows her the text.

She turns beet red, turns on her heel and all but runs away.

0ooo0

"So what was that all about?" He finds her in a supply closet. Damn. She really needs to come up with better hiding spots.

"What?"

"That text."

"Oh."

"So?"

"I was drunk. Very, very drunk. I don't even remember sending it."

"Oh."

"Sorry. It was totally unprofessional and insane and ridiculously embarrassing and I really need to learn to leave my phone at home when I drink and can we just forget this ever happened?"

"Yeah, sure. I just…"

Addison looks up at him. "What?"

He doesn't say anything. They stare at each other for a minute in silence. "What?" Addison repeats after awhile. His lips come crashing down on hers before she fully articulates the T sound.

0ooo0

Alex is walking out of the hospital with Izzie, Meredith, George, and Cristina. "And Alex," Meredith says. "I have no idea what's going on with Alex."

"Nothing," he says, a smirk playing on his lips since he can't get the supply closet out of his mind.

His phone buzzes and he reads the text. "Sorry, guys, I have to go. It's, uh, it's an emergency."

He runs off. "What the hell?" Izzie asks, articulating everyone's thoughts perfectly.

What they don't know is that in Alex's pocket is his phone, and on his phone there is one new message from Addison Montgomery. And this text reads "Archfield. Room 2214. Come do me. (I'm sober this time.)"

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**Enjoy? Yes? No? I was going to have a _little _more plot and troubles, but it's 3:15 am and I got tired.**

**-Juli-**


End file.
